


We've only got so much time

by romeoandjulietyouwish



Series: Lis Writes 9-1-1 [23]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cancer, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Good Dad Owen Strand, Hurt/Comfort, Judd Ryder & TK Strand Are Siblings, Medical Inaccuracies, Owen Strand is a Good Dad, TK Strand Needs A Hug, Worried TK Strand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:20:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24827452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romeoandjulietyouwish/pseuds/romeoandjulietyouwish
Summary: Owen is struggling with the side effects of his chemo and he hides it from his son.
Relationships: Owen Strand & TK Strand
Series: Lis Writes 9-1-1 [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725208
Comments: 7
Kudos: 80





	We've only got so much time

**Author's Note:**

> Happy early father's day!
> 
> Prompt: Owen trying to hide his pain until he can't (*insert something dramatic happening*) and discussion with TK follows

Owen groans as he sits up, his whole body feels heavy, like his bones are made of concrete. He wants nothing more than to lay back down and sleep the day away, but he is a fire captain and he has duties. So with another groan, Owen forces himself out of bed. 

The second he’s standing on his feet, he nearly crumbles to the floor. A sharp, shooting pain, ignites through his fingers and toes and his legs shake, seemingly having a hard time supporting his weight. He grunts in pain, not wanting TK to hear him from his room across the hall. 

Owen sits back down on the edge of the bed, taking a slow breath through his nose, before reaching into his bedside drawer and downing some of the pills his doctor said could help with the side effects. He prays that they’ll start working quickly. 

He winces as he rises to his feet once more and starts his day. Everything takes him longer, getting dressed, doing his hair, it all takes nearly double the time it usually does. As it stands, Owen gets downstairs just as TK is shoving the last few things in his bag and yanking on his shoes.

“You ready to go?” TK asks. Owen nods. 

He doesn’t protest as TK takes his work bag as well as his own and heads out to the car. It’s days like today that Owen is glad that his son is a worrywart. TK jumps into the driver’s seat, he hasn’t let Owen drive since he found out, and starts the car. Owen plasters on a smile for his son, hiding the pain boiling under his skin, and shuts the car door. 

TK doesn’t need to know how much pain he’s in, it will only make TK more worried. He wants his son to see him power through and beat this cancer, not collapsing at every step because the chemo is kicking his ass. 

At the station, TK once again takes Owen’s bag and drops it in the locker room before bounding into the kitchen like a puppy. Owen watches him, wishing he had that much energy. As Owen walks into the station, he can’t help but wince at every step. Pain shoots up from his feet into his legs, and he has to keep from visibly showing any pain. TK can’t know. 

“You doing okay, cap?” Marjan asks, looking down at Owen from the top of one of the trucks. 

Owen smiles up at her, “All good, I think I just slept weird last night.”

“Judd made breakfast,” Marjan tells him, “or actually Grace made breakfast and Judd brought it in. You might want to go grab some before Mateo and TK eat all of it.” 

“Will do,” Owen says and walks away from Marjan’s prying eyes. He imagines himself lifting up a facade of himself, smiling and the perfect fire captain for his team. 

In the kitchen, Judd pushes a plate of food towards him and nods for him to sit with the rest of the team, “Thanks, cowboy,” Owen smiles and takes the plate. They eat, quietly chatting about their days, all of them too tired to have a real conversation, and with a twelve-hour shift in front of them, they’re all wanting to conserve energy. 

Unfortunately, just as breakfast finishes, the bell rings, eliciting a groan from everyone. “Up and at ‘em,” Owen encourages as they jog off to the trucks. 

“Three story house fire,” Owen informs the team, looking over his shoulder. “There are at least four people trapped inside, possibly more. Mateo, Paul, and TK, get the water, use the hydrant if you have to. Judd, Marjan, and I will head inside.” Everyone nods. “Listen, the building might be unstable so the second I call for an evac, you do it, got it?” He asks the question directly at Marjan who rolls her eyes but nods. 

Everyone jumps out of the truck when they get there, but Owen is forced to take it a little slower. Pain shoots through his fingers again as he pulls on his mask, but he shoves it down. There are people to save. 

He nods at Judd and Marjan and leads them into the building. 

Owen works on instinct as he searches the house with his team, pulling people out, getting them out of the smoke, and clearing rooms and floors. Finally, Judd radios that he and Marjan are helping the last victim out. 

“I’ll follow you guys out,” Owen tells them. He’s on the second floor now and the smoke is getting thick. But Owen picks up his feet and steps down the stairs. But with every step, the pain grows worse and worse in his feet. His legs shake, growing weaker and weaker from exertion. 

His heavy gear weighs him down even more, but by some miracle, Owen makes it to the ground floor. But the exits feel miles away. 

“Cap, you out yet?” Paul asks through the radio. 

Owen stumbles, catching himself against the wall, but then his legs fully give out, sending him collapsing to the floor. He tries to move his arm, but the pain only grows worse and worse with every movement. 

“Captain Strand, please respond.” It’s Judd now, his voice wavering. “Are you out of the building?” 

Owen blinks slowly, his body feels too heavy. He can’t do this. 

“Dad! Dad, please,” Owen can hear TK’s panicked voice in his radio and he struggles to his feet. His son needs him, he can’t abandon him. TK needs him to live. 

Owen finds strength deep inside of himself and forces himself to his feet. The image of TK is so present in his mind. Owen manages to take a few steps, leaning against the wall but he can’t move after that. The pain is too great. 

“TK…” Owen breathes softly. He wants to reach up and turn on his radio, he wants to tell TK how much he loves him. His son’s voice comes over the radio again, begging him to answer. Owen can’t find the strength to reach up to his mic. 

When TK was a baby, he used to stare up at Owen with such wide-eyed fascination and trust. He looked at his dad like he hung the stars in the sky. And at that young age, he probably did. Owen loves his son more than anything in the world, he has to fight to get back to him. 

Then out of the smoke in front of him, a tall figure emerges. They grab Owen around the waist and start running out of the building, hauling him along. Once they’re outside, Owen collapses to his knees as the paramedics surround him. As he is laid onto his back, he can see his son’s watery green eyes looking down at him with incredible pain. 

“I’m sorry,” Owen breathes. The last thing he sees before he passes out is TK covers his mouth as he sobs. 

* * *

Owen wakes up slowly. 

He feels someone holding his hand and around him he can hear the hum of voices, though he can’t make out what they’re saying. His body feels heavy, like he’s going to sink right through the bed. It’s nice, he decides, a break from the immense pain he has been in for days on end. But as much as he struggles to stay awake, he falls right back into the darkness.

When Owen wakes up again, he can hear voices this time. 

Judd sighs, “I know you’re worried, but your dad would want you to take care of yourself. Why don’t you come home with me and get some real food instead of this nasty hospital stuff. You can sleep in a real bed.”

“I can’t,” TK’s voice is so shaky it worries Owen. “I can’t leave him.”

“He would want you too,” Judd says wisely. “Come on.” Owen silently pleads with his son to go home with Judd. There is no one he trusts more to take care of his son than Judd. 

“Fine.” 

Owen lets out a breath of relief as TK’s chair scrapes back. Judd quietly mummers something to TK, too soft for Owen to hear and their footsteps walk out of the room. Owen allows himself to sink back down into sleep with the knowledge that someone is taking care of his son when he can’t.

The third time Owen wakes up, he actually opens his eyes. “Dad?” Owen blinks and finds TK looking down at him, eyes red. “Dad!” TK exclaims. Before he knows it, Owen has an armful of TK. Owen wraps his arms around his son as TK buries his head against his shoulder. 

“I’m okay,” Owen murmurs, kissing the top of TK’s head. He doesn’t know if it’s true, but if it will help TK calm down then it doesn’t matter. “I’m okay, TK.” 

“No you’re not,” TK says, his voice muffled against Owen. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were in pain?” TK demands, sitting up. “I could have helped you and this wouldn’t have happened.” TK yanks on his hair, “Side effects of chemotherapy are weakness, nausea, lack of concentration… Why didn’t I notice?”

“Hey,” Owen takes TK’s hands out of his hair to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself. “This is not your fault TK.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me what was going on?” TK looks at his dad with watery eyes. 

Owen smiles sadly and touches TK’s cheek, “I didn’t want you to worry any more than you already were. I wanted to push through and be strong for you.”

“I don’t need you to be strong,” TK shakes his head. “I need you to be alive.”

“TK…”

“No,” TK snaps. “You could have died. Do you realize that? I-I’m not ready to lose you.” 

Owen’s heart breaks in two. “Okay, come here,” Owen opens his arms and lefts TK fall back into them. Owen runs a hand up and down TK’s back, “I’m sorry, kid. You’re right, I should have told you.”

“I thought we promised that we wouldn’t keep things from each other.” 

“I know,” Owen sighs and runs a hand through TK’s hair, “I know. I’m sorry, I didn’t think it was as bad as it was. I thought I could push through. Listen to me, I promise that from now on I will tell you everything that’s going on with my chemo. But,” TK looks up at his dad, “you have to promise me to be honest when you’re scared, okay? I’m not the only one this cancer is affecting.” 

TK looks unhappy at the deal, but says, “Okay. I love you, dad.” 

Owen smiles and kisses the top of his son’s head again, “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos make my day!
> 
> Tumblr- @evanbuckley-heartofgold


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